Lyrics

I knew the day was coming when we’d need to have the talk
I asked my son to join me for a Sunday morning walk
We picked our way through garden paths admiring the flowers
I summoned all my wisdom
And I prayed for new parental powers

When I was young, the Talk was one avoided, too taboo
No one talked about the birds and bees and what they like to do
I did independent research on the subject on my own
To share with my beloved son now that he’s nearly grown

You see, baby bees, they’re a mystery to me
When a randy bee comes calling to go rolling in the pollen
Honey don’t feel dumb for asking me where bees come from
I’m still searching for the answer
Still scrambling for words
Even with the fine examples of the bees and the birds

Our morning walk continued as we wandered through the thicket
In the garden patch an idea hatched that just might be the ticket
The perfect explanation of creation can be seen
I pushed the weeds aside and grabbed a leafy carrot green

The carrot was enormous, seven inches, maybe eight
Its girth and heft impressive, in my hand I felt its weight
We explored the empty hole made by the carrot in the earth
As my son admired the mighty root I told him of its birth

We make baby carrots with industrial machines
Take a big one, peel and chop it, then we soak it in chlorine
It’s the way of Mother Nature, miracles beyond belief
How we whittle mighty maples into sticks to pick our teeth

You yourself were born of love like baby birds, like mother storks
Who deliver human babies to the steps of our front doors
I’m so thankful for the grownup conversation that we’ve had
If you have some further questions you might save them for your dad

Like how come after they have mated, male bees fall over dead?
Or how come big banana slugs have willies on their heads
Why do wasps in Costa Rica lay their eggs inside a spider
‘Til they hatch and stab her stomach then they eat her while inside her
Or how female praying mantises decapitate their lovers?
Well, anyway, I’m here to say I’m proud to be your mother!